he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize