these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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