He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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