ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
