Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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