No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Are we still banned from the library?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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