I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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