Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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