Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
