I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
