It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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