We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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