imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
