Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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