the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
