I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
