fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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