Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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