Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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