i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The chlamydia really affected his face.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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