I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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