yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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