I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
