Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
