It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
