She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
