I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
