he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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