i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
