I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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