she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How naked do you want me to be?
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