Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
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I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
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No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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