I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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