lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
