I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my shit smells like andre
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
