he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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