dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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