I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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