so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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