we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
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And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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