I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm really busy with my period
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