he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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