The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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