You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
