So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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