Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
farters have to be the big spoon...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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