Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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