What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
