ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
