yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
