I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
