..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
