His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
