the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize