You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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