He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
