I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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