Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
