Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize