My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
