I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
