i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
