my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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