Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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